Saturday, April 13, 2013


to those of you I have sent to this page, know that I love you and that because im not talking to you its not because i dont care, its more im ashamed and i think it would be a conflict of interest, since you guys still talk to mom. I do still check your facebooks quite a bit, miss you all so much and stilll care despite how it looks. im not trying to make mom alienated or anything by doing this, i just wanted to let you all know im not the immature, horrible person i am painted as. the only thing i will say about mom in this post is that she is fake and puts on a show for everyone so they dont see how awful she is. and i know that sounds like the typical angry teen who hates their parents, but please. just hear me out, dont need a reply. just need you to know that i do have a heart and that i'm not the girl they are depicting me as. and i know they keep pointing fingers at matt, but it was my decision to stop seeing mom, and he supported me and has been my rock. im truly sorry for the pain i have caused you and ask if you wouldnt show this blog to mom and jim? dont want the situation to blow up, as i previously stated i just want you to know how it really is for me. love you guys despite the seperation.    and as for the most recent blow with cam it still hurts and will for a while, but i will always care. just need her to grow up and i just need to take a step back before more things are said that make that line more uncrossable. just read the following blogposts underneath. wasnt meant to be seen by people i know and doesnt capture my feelings exactly, but does alright. had already gotten most of my anger out and by this point was just super duper blue.

again, love you.

and sorry all lowercase, my little guy is sleeping on my other arm

Friday, April 12, 2013


phone dumb. not sure how to do this on here yet. first time. well sent message pretending to b her though its one am. no way she would be up. i hate this but im not giving in     love u little sis and i am so so so incredibly sorry


well its bedtime and on phone so short post. sorry took me a while. my pride was kind of in shambles after my previous posts. im tired and so blue. im still not talking to family. but tonight they tried to be sly but ended up just tearing me up all over again. mom sent me a message from my little sisters fb i made for her and love her so dearly. shes the biggest thing that tearrs me up about this situation, the thing that hurt more than anything else in walking away (not to say tons of other things hurt too....). they sent a message pretending to be her though its